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TRANSVESTITE REVENGE

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BY CARMEN BASTINADO

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THE ALL-AMERICAN FAMILY MAGAZINE, READERS' DIGEST, RUNS A MONTHLY FEATURE SUBMITTED BY READERS TITLED "THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTER I'VE KNOWN." AND I AM SORELY TEMPTED TO SEND IN A PIECE ON MY MOST UNFORGETTABLE CHARACTER, WHO HAPPENS TO BE MADEMOISELLE MARIE CHARPENTIER, THE STRICT GOVERNESS MY MOTHER HIRED WHEN I WAS A LAD OF FIFTEEN.

HOWEVER, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT THE READER'S DIGEST WOULD BE INCLINED TO PUBLISH SUCH AN ARTICLE. NOT BECAUSE IT WOULD NOT CONTAIN LITERARY MERIT, WHICH MY WRITING HAS IN ABUNDANCE, BUT BECAUSE MY GOVERNESS WAS NOT THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WOULD ENCOUNTER IN THE SACROSANCT PAGES OF THAT PARTICULAR FAMILY MAGAZINE. OR ANY OTHER, FOR THAT MATTER.

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YOU SEE, GENTLE READER, MADEMOISELLE WAS THE PERPETRATOR OF SOME RATHER MODERN IDEAS ABOUT THE REARING OF TEENAGED BOYS, ESPECIALLY THOSE LIKE MYSELF WHO WERE OVERENDOWED WITH BOYISH HIGH SPIRITS AND ARROGANCE.

YES, MODERN WAS THE WORD FOR THIS GALLIC CHICK. THE VERY WORD. NO OTHER WORD WOULD DO QUITE AS WELL.

MADEMOISELLE WAS A FIRM BELIEVER IN THE HUMULIATION, SUBJUGATION, AND TIGHT CONTROL OF THE ADOLESCENT MALE. IN FACT, THE LADY COULD BE TERMED THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF PETTICOAT PUNISHMENT, AMONG OTHER THINGS, AND I WAS HER UNWILLING VICTIM FOR SIX TERRIBLE YEARS.

MY MOTHER, IN DESPERATION OVER MY VARIOUS SHENANIGANS WHICH INCLUDED VARIOUS SEXUAL ADVANCES TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD GIRLS OF MY AGE GROUP, AGGRAVATED ASSAULTS ON THE IR MALE DEFENDERS, IF ANY, AND A HOST OF OTHER LOW CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS GAVE MADEMOISELLE MARIE CHARPENTIER A FREE HAND IN MY DISCIPLINE. AND THAT HAND, SMALL AND DELICATE AS IT WAS, TURNED OUT TO BE THAT OF A VERITABLE SHE-DEVIL!

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